Sometimes, the best way to get clear on the legacy we want to leave behind is by confronting the question head-on: What do we want people to say about us when we’re gone?
An exercise that can help with this reflection is writing your own obituary. This might seem unusual or even unsettling at first, but it can be a powerful tool for gaining insight into the life you want to lead today. After all, an obituary isn’t just about recounting the facts of someone’s life; it’s about the impact they had—on the people they loved, on their community, and on the world at large.
In the Billy Alsbrooks mentoring group, we did this exercise to reflect on the legacy we were creating, and I’ve seen similar exercises in other communities, including one where a priest invited his congregation to write their own obituaries as a way to focus on what truly mattered in their lives.
Here’s how you can approach it:
1. Write the opening line of your obituary.
Think about how you want people to remember you. What do you want them to say about your character, your values, and your impact? What would you want your loved ones, colleagues, or even acquaintances to mention?
2. Reflect on the impact you had on others.
How did you make others feel? What relationships did you nurture? What values did you pass on to your family or community? Consider the stories people would tell about you—the moments of kindness, leadership, or wisdom.
3. Focus on the legacy you built.
Did you live intentionally? Did you leave the world a little better than you found it? What were the most significant contributions you made? These can be professional achievements, personal milestones, or the quiet acts of kindness that shaped those around you.
4. Write with intention.
While it may feel like a difficult task, writing your obituary is not a morbid exercise; it’s a living one. It gives you a chance to evaluate how you’re currently living and whether it aligns with the legacy you want to leave.
By taking the time to write your own obituary, you’re not just envisioning the end—you’re actively shaping your story now. It forces you to think about what truly matters to you and the kind of impact you want to have on others. This reflection can be a powerful motivator to begin living more intentionally and aligned with the legacy you hope to leave.
Are you ready to face the reality of your legacy?
Grab a pen and paper—or open your Notes app—and begin writing your own obituary. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should reflect what you want your story to be. If you’re brave enough, share it with me—I’d love to hear what you discover about yourself in the process.
